Well, today is Chocolate Wafer Day (or National Chocolate Wafer Day, according to some). But despite (or, perhaps, because of) my deep fondness for chocolate, I feel deeply indifferent about chocolate wafers. I mean, obviously, points for being chocolate anything. But wafers are about the least substantial chocolate product I can think of—they make chocolate mousse seem downright dense. It’s like…if someone is thirsty, inviting them to go breathe in some fog is possibly slightly better than nothing, in that technically some water molecules will reach the inside of their body, but that’s not really an optimal solution, you know? When I eat chocolate, I want my mouth and my stomach to feel it. So, although I’d certainly rather eat a chocolate wafer than not to have chocolate at all, I think I’ll celebrate by eating chocolate wafers garnishing a hot fudge brownie sundae.